Anger Management

Madurai city in south Tamilnadu is a popular tourist center. It's recorded period dates back to at least 300 BC. Megasthenese, Greek ambassador to India, is said to have mentioned about this city. Madurai is a historical, social, cultural and business center. Thousands of tourists throng the city every day for visiting the Meenakshi-Sundareswara temple and other temples around the city. The size of these temples is often huge and a proper visit to them would take half a day for a meaningful round up. A visit to Meenakshi-Sundareswara temple in the morning is very rewarding; it meets the objective of morning walk and exercise as well. Tirumala Naiker's palace is another important tourist attraction. Madurai is also the gateway to the island of Rameswaram that houses the historical temple by the same name. It is an important commercial centre and the city with nearly two million population never sleeps. Different shades of cultures can be seen thriving harmoniously in this city. The city is situate on the banks of river Vaigai, though water flow in the river is very rare. Madurai has a bench of the Madras High Court and has a Divisional Office of Indian Railways as well. The city is vital and important politically and the belief is that the political party that wins in Madurai and surrounding areas does rule the state of Tamilnadu. Past electoral history is a witness to this claim.

Madurai is well connected by National Highways, Railway network and Airport. There is a regular and heavy traffic between Chennai and Madurai. Many long distance trains from Chennai to various destinations in south India pass through Madurai. The most popular among them is Pandiyan Express, plying between Chennai and Madurai, due to its convenient timings on either side of the journey. One can take the train after supper and arrive at the destination well before sunrise on the next day. I was required to travel frequently between these two cities as a part of my work for a few years. The train had AC coaches as well but the journey by First Class coaches (which have been now phased out by Indian Railways) were very pleasant due to the extra space available in them. The journey by Pandiyan Express was always enjoyable and lasting in memory. 

There was a slight drizzle on that night at Chennai Egmore station, some fifteen years ago. The wet platforms were full with south bound passengers looking for their trains. Pandiyan Express had not yet arrived at the platform from the yard. There was no place to sit on the platforms as all seats were either occupied or wet due to the drizzle. There was only one bench on which one person was sitting with her bags besides her. As the wait was going to be longer, I went to her and asked her if I could sit beside her if she moved the bags. She readily agreed and made way by moving the bags. What followed was a very interesting episode.

Many persons passing by our bench would stop and greet the lady. She was nearly seventy years old and the smile on her face was evident even in the dimly lit platform. Initially it appeared that only railway employees were greeting her. All guards, drivers, porters and other railway employees stopped for a minute and talked to her with reverence. Many of them asked her whether they could get dinner for her. She smilingly replied such queries that she had ordered dinner to be served on the coach. As the minutes passed by, it was observed that even some non-railway employees were greeting her and exchanging pleasantries. She was referred as "Madam". Only elderly ones addressed her as "Satya Madam". Her name was probably Satyavati. I was tempted to ask her how she knew so many people from the railways and others traveling to Madurai. But I did not.

When the train arrived on the platform half an hour later, there were half a dozen railway employees competing to take her bags to her coach. As I entered my compartment, she was seated opposite to my berth. An elderly couple were the other two passengers in the four berthed compartment. They had their packed dinner ready with them. Railway employees delivered dinner packets to us. The time during the dinner opened a chance to ask her the reasons for her being so popular with the railway employees and other travelers. 

She told me that she was working as a teacher in the Railway school in Madurai for some three decades. Some of the persons who greeted her were her former students who have now become railway employees. There were others who were parents of children who studied in that school. She said that it was no surprise that that many people greeted and spoke to her. "I should have been an awfully bad teacher if at least this many did not recognize me!", she exclaimed. She was humble and polite. She must have been much better than an average teacher. She ought to have been a wonderful teacher and guide to her wards. Not all teachers are recognized and respected like her, I thought.

Our brief discussion during dinner was disturbed due to a heated argument between a passenger and the TTE. As the argument subsided, she smiled and said "I do not know why people become angry". "There could be many reasons for that", I said. She laughed and what she said later is fresh in my memory. 

"In any situation involving me, I am either right or wrong. If I am wrong, I have no right to be angry. If I am right, I need not be angry. Remembering these two rules are the best medicine for treating anger", she said as we finished dinner.

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Satya madam had a wonderful lesson in "Anger Management". She put it very easily in simple words but with lasting effect. It is a lesson difficult to follow always, but gives rich dividends whenever followed.  Yes, it is either we have no right to be angry or we need not be angry!

The Passenger and the Train

He is standing anxiously on the platform for the arrival of the train. He is aware of the long journey ahead. He is checking his luggage and is satisfied that things are in order. He is verifying the ticket and making a mental note of his coach and berth. He wants to make sure that he gets into the proper coach and reaches the right berth. He rushes towards the coach even before the train comes to a full stop on the platform. With luggage in both hands, he jumps into the coach and moves fast towards his berth. He heaves a sigh of relief after placing all the luggage items below the berth. He checks the items and is now satisfied that arrangements are proper. There are others around him who are doing the same thing, may be a little differently and according to their own taste and liking. He is now seated and looks forward to the long haul with expectation and anxiety on the one side and excitement and hope on the other.

He makes every effort to keep his berth and its surroundings neat and clean during the journey. All waste items are immediately removed from his presence. Proper care is taken of the berth and the surroundings. He makes friendship with the people around him. All have their own stories and plans. Many of these are shared. Bonds develop between the co-passengers. Some invite others to visit their places and assure that all arrangements will be made by them for a pleasant trip, when their place is visited. Addresses and phone numbers are exchanged. The journey goes on. Some co-passengers get off from the train when their stations come. Other co-passengers come in and the journey continues.

All good things have to come to an end. Entire life cannot be lived and spent on the train. His station is about to come in a few minutes. He is no longer interested in making new friendships now. He is not that worried about keeping the berth and surroundings clean. He is aware that he has to move away from the train to further destinations. He picks his luggage items and prepares to get down. Waste material is thrown on the berth and near it. This berth has no use for him now. He is now concerned about the next berth in the next train. He moves to the door of the coach even before the train comes to a full stop on the platform of his destination. He gets down and moves away towards the next train and the berth in it. He does not spare a minute to look back at the berth that carried him this far and for so long. He does not look back at the train standing on the platform, that helped him come this far. His eyesight is now firmly set on the next lap of journey..... 

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Indian philosophy revolves around the concepts of Body (Deha), Soul (Atma) and the Supreme being (Paramatma). A concept is often defined as "an idea of something formed by mentally combining all its characteristics or particulars". There are many schools of thought that explain the relation between these three concepts. They base their arguments on the same texts but the same texts are interpreted differently by each school. But each of the schools of thought swear by the same sources! Each of these interpretation makes interesting reading and appears to be the best when you are reading it. Ekavada (Monoism), Adwaita (Non-dualism) and Dwaita (Dualism) base their theories on the premise of the Atma and Paramatma being one, not-two and two separate entities. Much of it stands on different logical interpretations. The difference lies in the secret that all schools of thinking do not accept the same yardsticks and the force of their arguments depends on their postulates. A postulate is something that is assumed without proof or taken for granted. It is generally believed, save for rare and exceptional schools of arguments, that soul is eternal while body is not permanent. Soul changes bodies from time to time and continues its eternal journey.....

One question that crops up during such discussions is about the relationship between the body and soul. A soul lives in a body for a certain length of time. In the case of human beings such time span stretches to several years and decades. What is the bonding between the body and soul? Does not the soul feel the pain of separation from the body when it finally leaves the body forever, in which it stayed for such long periods? The above example of the Passenger and the Train is given to explain the relationship between the body and soul. Just as the passenger does not look back at the berth and the train when his destination arrives, the soul does not feel the pain of separation from the body and the surroundings. In other words, the soul does not feel attached to the body and hence there is no pain of separation.

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There are many interesting questions on such topics and they are wonderfully answered through similar simple and yet satisfactory examples. Many scholars have given us gifts of such interpretations and explanations. One may not agree with some of them and may not agree entirely with many of them. But a reading and contemplation on these voluminous literature widens our own horizons. Vinoba Bahve is one such thinker who has contributed through his discourses.

Vinayak Narahari Bhave (1895-1982), popularly known as Vinoba Bhave was a Gandhian and freedom fighter. He is well known for his contributions through "Bhoodaan" movement. Many consider him as a spiritual successor of Mahatma Gandhi. He lost some popularity when he called the period of Emergency (1975-77) as "Anushasana Parva". 

Vinoba was jailed for participation in freedom movement and held in Dhule Jail in Maharashtra between January and July 1932. While in jail, he gave discourses on "Bhagavadgita" every sunday. Many jail inmates and even prison officials attended his discourses. Jamanalal Bajaj, noted industrialist and philanthropist was one of the regular participants. Sane Guruji, Marathi writer and freedom fighter kept notes of the discourses. A small book titled "Geeta Pravachan" was brought out later on which contains the summary of the discourses of Vinoba in Dhule jail. This book contains many interesting and apt examples that convey answers to questions of seekers, given in simple language and logic. Original book in Marathi language, published in 1950s with a cost of one rupee, has been translated to many indian languages as well as English. A reading of this book is indeed useful and interesting.

Returned, with apologies!

We often hear the words "Returned with thanks".  Most of the printed receipts read "Received with thanks".  But ever heard of  "Returned with apologies"?  Today's THE HINDU (26th July 2012) carried one such news item.

In Kotturpuram extension of Chennai, house of Shri Azhar Hussain, a retired anesthetist from a Government Hospital in Chennai, was burgled last week. Burglars entered the house by unscrewing a window on Friday evening. Over 70 sovereigns of gold jewellery, including diamond and platinum items, and 2,00,000 rupees in cash was taken away by the burglars. After four days, on the next Wednesday, his daughter-in-law answered the door bell at 6 AM in the morning.  She did not find anybody near the door. She spotted a plastic cover placed on the door step. When she opened the packet, she found all the items that were taken away during burglary.  There was one additional item as well; a note of apology in Tamil (local language) expressing regret for having burgled the house.  What an honest act even in the midst of total dishonesty!

An friend and well-wisher told me that similar acts of honesty (!) is displayed by pick pockets in Bombay.  A picked purse usually contains many items besides cash; credit/debit and ATM cards, visiting cards, photo of a little son or daughter or even a girl/boy friend, or some piece of paper or noting.  Some may even keep an Identity Card or PAN Card.  The one who stole the purse is only interested in cash. May be credit/debit/ATM card if the holder ignores the instructions of the issuing bank and notes down the PIN number on the card itself.  Other items do not interest him but they may be invaluable for the owner of the purse.  A lot of trouble in getting the duplicate of these items. Some items can never be replaced; like a photo with one's mother taken several years ago.  The thief needs money but not other items.  He is aware of the importance of other items to the purse owner. He does not throw them in the nearby dustbin.  He takes a manila envelope and puts all these contents in it. He mails the envelope to the owner as per address available in the visiting card and drops it in the post box. He takes care not to put stamps on it as he does not want a reduction of his booty. The envelope is delivered by the postal department by collecting twice the normal postage.  On receipt of the envelope, the owner thanks the thief instead of cursing him.  He is grateful for the honesty and understanding shown by the thief in returning the priceless posessions!

It is true that the thieves are quite understanding in Bombay trains.   But they could be equally ruthless also.  I am reminded of an incident I was told several years ago by another friend. A thief stole a girl's gold chain from a overcrowded compartment. When he went to sell the item he found that it was not made of real gold, but an imitation.  He was angry at being cheated.  His efforts had gone waste. Had he known that the girl would cheat him by wearing an imitation jewellery item, he would have tried his luck elsewhere. The "Opportunity Cost" was too much for him and fair wages for his efforts were denied. The girl was a regular traveler on the train, commuting from home to work and back.  He came back on the next day and found her in her regular compartment. He threw the chain on her face and gave a blow as interest. She was warned not to wear such items and deceive others in future.

Another friend mentioned about his son's cricket gear.  The young boy is a hard core cricket enthusiast and keen to work hard and make it big in the game.  He has quite a pool of talent too. The family recognized his talent and eagerness and got him a sports kit with all the items required for a budding cricketer. There were good quality bats, leg guards, gloves, boots and a helmet to protect from short pitched deliveries.  His talent was spotted by a well known coach and the boy's desire got wings.  One day he reached the cricket field, kept his kit in the usual place and went for warm up exercises.  When he returned after a few minutes the kit was gone.  The young lad was heart broken.  For him it was not just a kit or a few items. It was the package that contained his dream.  Undaunted by the loss he continued his mission with a substitute kit. But the loss of his beloved original kit made him sad.  A few days later, one of his friends told him that another boy was playing in the nearby ground with a bat which looked like the lost one.  When they both went to the other boy and checked there was no doubt at all and it was the same bat.  The boy was confronted with identifying marks.  The other boy had no answer and the bat then led to the kit itself.  The kit is now back with the original owner and he is now pursuing his mission with renewed vigor. There was neither an apology nor a thanks muttered in this case, though.

Then there was the famous case of returning of stolen property, may be due to fear.  This is a story I heard from my mother when I was a school boy. Saint Thyagaraja was presented a beautiful portrait of "Kodanda Rama" by some of his disciples during the marriage of his daughter. The saint cherished it and used offer prayers before the portrait every day.  Some thieves broke into his house one day and carried away the photo. Saint Thyagaraja was devastated by this loss.  He is said to have composed many kritis describing his pitiable conditions due to the big loss.  The persons who stole the photo faced many sufferings and misery after the theft. They could not hold the photo any longer and one night came back and kept the photo near the front door and ran away.  When the saint opened the door next day, he found the smiling photo of "Kodanda Rama".  He was mightily pleased and carried the photo inside the house. He is said to have sung the kirtana "Echharikagaa Raa ra...." meaning something like come, carefully....  Another version says that his jealous brother Jalpesha stole the Saint's idols and threw them away in the nearby Kaaveri river.  The saint prayed continuously unable to bear the loss of idols.  One night Sri Rama appeared in his dream and told him the exact location in the river from which the idols can be retrieved.  The saint promptly went to that spot and gleefully retrieved the idols.  This was not a case of "Returning with thanks" or "Returning with apologies".  It was indeed a case of  "Returning with divine love", not by the thief, by the stolen himself!

As Saint Thyagaraja himself sang,  "Endaro Mahanubhavulu.....Andiriki Vandanamulu".