Spouse With The Same Name

Long long ago, during the Mahabharata times, there was a sage by name Jaratkaru (जरत्कारु - ಜರತ್ಕಾರು). He had taken a vow to practice celibacy or brahmacharya, and spend his life time in spiritual pursuits without getting into married life. "Come what may, I will not marry and invite hurdles in my spiritual journey", he told himself. He reached advanced age but continued on his chosen path. He renounced even food and water and lived only on air. 

On one of his spiritual long walks, one day he found that several persons were hanging upside down on a cliff, clinging to one another clutching the root of a grass weed, with their heads in a hole that led to hell. A rat was steadily eating that root. They could fall to their hell any moment.

Jaratkaru felt very sad about them. "Who are you people? Why are you hanging here? Is there any way to resurrect you?" he asked them. "We are the ancestors belonging to the Yayavaara clan. There is only one man left in our clan in the present generation. Unless he marries and produces the next generation we are doomed to fall from here and end in hell. But that man has chosen not to marry and practice celibacy. If he does not marry and continue the lineage, we are all finished. The rat eating the root of the grass we are holding is like a ticking clock", they said. "Please let me know who that person is. I will tell him to attend to your needs quickly" said Jaratkaru. "His name is Jaratkaru", said one of the hanging persons. 

Jaratkaru was now in a quandary. If he marries, his vow will be broken. if he does not marry, the ancestors are doomed. What to do? He identified himself and told them that he would marry and sacrifice his vow for the welfare of the clan, but subject to conditions. "First condition is that the girl should be marrying me on her own free will. Secondly, the family of the girl should willingly offer her in marriage to me. Thirdly I will not support her and abandon her if she displeases me even once. Above all, she should have the same name as me - Jaratkaru!" he said.

In essence, the name of the husband and wife should both be the same. In other words. the spouses should have the same name!

*****

Kubra Aykut belonged to the present days. She was a TikTok influencer who had a million followers on the medium. She had 200,000 Instagram followers. She decided to marry someone who fit her expectations.  Finally she decided that she didn't find one such person. The only person who could meet her expectation was herself. 

She did the best thing. As she did not find a worthy partner, she married herself. The word "Polygamy" is well known. "Sologamy" is a word that means marrying oneself. They say it is not recognised legally anywhere in the world. But it is self satisfying as it is better than being single. Her 2023 wedding with herself was published as "Wedding without a Groom" and the videos became hugely popular. 

Her wedding was quite interesting. She wore a tiara, a white gown, and other accessories as she proclaimed "I cannot find a worthy groom for myself". Her fan following multiplied after this self wedding.

The spouse here also had the same name! (Of course, the same person as well).

*****

Serpent King Vasuki was a worried man. He knew that his clan of serpants were doomed due to a curse on account of which all snakes were to be sacrificed in a "Sarpa Yaga" that would be performed shortly. He also knew that her sister's son would be able to prevent total loss and stop the ritual in the middle. He was waiting for her to be married so that her son when takes birth could be instrumental in saving the clan. The sisters name was Jaratkaru. 

Vasuki offered sister Jaratkaru in marriage to would be brother-in-law Jaratkaru. Bride Jaratkaru voluntarily agreed to marry groom Jaratkaru to save her clan. She agreed to all conditions of the groom. Vasuki agreed to support sister Jaratkaru and her child without burdening her husband Jaratkaru. Wedding concluded. 

When the couple lived together for sometime, wife Jaratkaru woke up husband Jaratkaru from deep slumber on one day. Husband Jaratkaru got angry and abandoned wife Jaratkaru. But before going away he gave her a boon that shortly a son will be born to her. The boy was named as "Aastika". 

Arjuna's great grandson, Abhimanyu's grandson and Parikshit's son King Janamejaya started the "Sarpa Yaga" to take revenge for his father's death due to biting by the snake Takshaka. Just like Lord Vamana went to King Bali in the Mahayaga and stopped it by asking for three foot land, Aastika went to King Janamejaya's yaga and sought stoppage of sarpa Yaga. King Janamejaya agreed and stopped the ritual. Thus Vasuki succeeded in saving his clan with the help of sister Jaratkaru. Sage Jaratkaru also saved his clan. Everything was fine and ended well.

*****

It was not so in the case of Kubra Aykut. A week ago, on 23rd September, 2024 she fell down from her 5th floor luxury apartment in Istanbul. She was only 26 years old. Police found a suicide note in her apartment. Her posts in the media said that she gained her energy, but was not able to gain weight and was losing one Kg weight everyday. 

Spouse with similar name (and being the same person too) did not help her. It was indeed a tragedy.

*****

When we were children and grew up in villages, we often found the writing आस्तिक in Sanskrit or ಆಸ್ತಿಕ in Kannada on the front doors of houses. The belief was that the name Aastika written on the door would make the snakes respect the household and go away without entering the house. 

Very rarely one could see the full text of the shloka written on the door. It actually was, in full form, as under:

सर्पोपसर्प भद्रं ते शीग्रं गच्छ महात्मनः 

जनमेजयस्य यज्ञान्ते आस्तिकस्य महात्मनः 

Sarpopasarpa bhadrante sheegram gaccha matmanaha

Janamejayasya yagnante Aastikasya mahatmanaha

ಸರ್ಪೋಪಸರ್ಪ ಭದ್ರಂತೇ ಶೀಘ್ರಮ್ ಗಚ್ಛ ಮಹಾಶಯಃ 

ಜನಮೇಜಯಸ್ಯ ಯಜ್ಞಾoತೇ ಆಸ್ತೀಕಸ್ಯ ಮಹಾತ್ಮನಃ  

This Place, Without You…

The Yaksha was married only a few months ago. Those were the early days of his married life. He had everything he desired in life at that point in time. He was in the service of the Lord of Wealth, Kubera. He had a rewarding job and a beautiful house, with all other perks that came with serving the Lord of Wealth. He was fond of his beautiful bride and naturally wanted to spend as much time as possible with her. Days were flying and he was floating in a dreamy world.  

Yaksha’s job requirement was indeed simple. He had to collect all the different heavenly flowers of various colors and fragrance, and make a fine garland for the Lord. It should be delivered in the morning before the Lord gets ready to go out on his daily routine. The Lord would wear the garland on his body as if it was the final item of jewelry. The fragrance of the flowers always preceded him as he moved around and stayed behind even after he left. Yaksha spent considerable time in finding the right flowers and making an attractive garland out of them. But he never failed in his duty and promptly delivered the garland as per schedule, without fail.

The early days of marriage were indeed difficult as his desire to stay with his wife clashed with discharge of his duties. His preoccupation with home life put additional pressure on his time. He somehow managed to deliver the garland at the desired time. Having seen the beautiful garland, his wife wanted to try it once on her body. It was indeed difficult for him to avoid her doing so. But he stuck to his duties. He had to prevent her from trying to put on the garland day after day. One day she begged him and said that she would put it on only for a minute and return immediately so that he can quickly deliver it to his Lord. It happened so suddenly and he managed to reach the Lord’s palace and give the garland in the nick of time. The Lord picked it up and was about to put it on his body when he saw a long hair clinging to the garland. 

The Lord could surmise what had happened. He became furious. Yaksha’s dereliction of duty was due to his deep attachment to his new bride. Hence the punishment should be separation from his wife. Kubera banished Yaksha from the capital city, Alaka, for a period of one year. Yaksha had to bear the punishment and wandered away from there and finally reached “Ramagiri”, a hill to the north of present Nagpur.

*****

Kalidasa’s "Meghadootam" begins with the Yaksha standing on the hill of Ramagiri and spotting a cloud on the first day of the “Aashada” month. Yaksha tries to send a message to his wife through this cloud. The poet beautifully describes the various places and scenery on the way to be seen by the cloud during its journey to Alaka Nagari. The reason for Yaksha's banishment from Alaka is not clear. The above is a story told to us by a teacher in school. It appears very reasonable when one considers the other aspects described in the epic. Another version of the reason for banishment is that the Yaksha was the caretaker of Kubera’s garden and due to his carelessness Indra’s elephant, Iravata, entered and destroyed the garden. Kubera realizes that the dereliction of the duty by the Yaksha was on account of his preoccupation with his new bride and banishment for one year is the punishment to keep him away from her.

*****

Yaksha describes various places on the way to Alaka to guide the cloud to reach his house in Alaka Nagari. He explains the location of his house and its surroundings before giving details about identifying his wife and the message to be given to her. There was no Google Maps in those days and yet painters have been able to paint a series of pictures to bring the scenery before us. Yaksha mentions, among others, the direction of his house being to the north of Kubera's palace, which can be easily identified as a landmark of the city. He describes the beautiful water pool with its golden lotuses and intricately laid steps with precious stones. There are Swans in the pool having made it their permanent abode, ignoring their natural habitat of Manasa Sarovara. He describes the small hillock in the garden with golden banana plants. There is also a golden pole on which his brides's pet peacock stands and dances to the rhythm of her clapping. The young Mandaara tree is full of flowers that can be plucked while standing on the ground. The Red Ashoka and Kurabaka trees in the garden are very fond of his bride. They flower even in unseasonal days when she kicks one with her left leg and throws wine from her mouth on the other! The description of the house and its surroundings thus goes on......

The explanation for finding the right house ends with a wonderful symbol of identification. It is not anything precious that was or is there. It is something which is not there. Identification of a place is not just by what can be seen there, but also something that is truly missing. While concluding the description of house the poet says:

क्षामच्छायं भवनमधुना मद्वियोगॆन नूनम् |

सूर्यापाये नखलु कमलः पुष्यति स्वामभिख्याम्  ||

Kshamacchayam bhavanamadhunaa madviyogena noonam

Sooryapaaye na khalu kamalah pushyati swamabhikyaam

"The house now appears deserted despite all the above delightful things. My absence has rendered the house lose all its glitter. Just as the Lotus loses its existence when the sun is not there, the house has lost all its sheen. You can identify the house very easily due to this factor alone".

*****

Mere fittings and decorations do not make a house or an office. It is the persons that occupy these precincts that mark and make their presence and existence. The absence of key individuals robs these places of all their glory. Their presence define their purpose and enhances their existence.

This truth is fully realized only when such persons are missing from the scene, even if temporarily, due to exigencies. All others in the vicinity will be longing for them to return and take their place. 

This place, without you, ......