Showing posts with label relatives. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relatives. Show all posts

Saturday, November 25, 2017

The Five Levels of Respect


The word "Respect" is used by us many times, each day. Everyone wants to be respected. No human being wants to be disrespected or humiliated. What is "Respect"? "Give respect and take respect" is a saying that is often quoted. Does respect come your way automatically when you give respect to another? Are there any preconditions for earning respect? What are the reasons behind someone being respected? Are all people to be respected equally? Are there some gradings in the levels of respect that is to be given and received? These questions are worth pondering and beg for an answer.

There are many definitions of the word "Respect". One of the definitions is "esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability". It also means "deference to a right, privilege, privileged position, or someone or something considered to have rights or privileges; proper acceptance or courtesy; acknowledgement to be held in respect etc". How does this privileged position come? There can be many theories and explanations as to why someone should be respected and the extent of respect to be given.

One commonly and widely accepted belief in our society is that age and knowledge are to be respected. The community holds the aged and knowledgeable people in deference and courtesy. There is also a latent feeling that some wisdom automatically comes with age, though this may not always be true. Ancient Indian literature provides many dimensions of giving and receiving respect. It mandates that respect should be given to some. It also directs that some are to be respected irrespective of their apparent or perceived deficiencies. It also gives five clear cut levels of respect to be given and also calibrates their relative inter se levels. There are possibilities that some people may be worthy of being respected for more than one of these reasons.

What are these five levels and what is their inter se relativity? The five levels are due to Money or Wealth possessed, One's relatives, Age, Achievements made, and Knowledge gained by the person. How is this classification justified? What is the logic for such a calibration? 

It is common knowledge that people with lot of money or wealth (वित्तं) are respected in society. As already mentioned above, such wealthy people might deserve respect due to other four parameters as well. Even if they are not entitled to any respect due to other parameters, mere possession of wealth alone makes them entitled to some respect. Such money or wealth might have come to them from some other source and not due to their own efforts. This is the lowest of the five levels of respect given by the society. If the wealth has been accumulated by their own hard earning efforts, then they would be respected due to the fourth level as well. Respect for such people stays as long as the wealth remains with them. Once wealth is gone, the respect given by the society also goes away. As ancient literature mentions in various places, wealth makes people find many virtues in them!

The second level of respect comes from one's relatives (बन्धुः). This type of respect is due to a position held in relativity. It is not uncommon to see people respecting someone because he is someone's son or son-in-law. If the relation between the two were not there, the respect would also not be there. A minister's PA is respected as long as he stays as a PA. Why only the PA, it is true of the ministers as well. If he loses that job, the respect also gets extinguished. If the person has done some sincere service while enjoying the position, or discharged his duties sincerely, he may still be given some respect even after losing the position. That would be the respect earned due to one's achievement.

The third level of respect comes from one's age (वयः). Mere age is respected often as we can see from the growing awareness and deference shown to senior citizen nowadays. the assumption is that these people have contributed to the general welfare of the society. This level of respect remains till the end of one's life and is expected to grow each day, unless the person squanders the same due to some bad deeds. 

The fourth level of respect is due to one's own achievements (कर्म or साधन). This is solely due to one's own achievements in the chosen field or fields. This comes due to lot of efforts and is accumulated over time. It stays with the person and does not go away for any reason. The ones who have achieved distinctions in diverse fields are respected irrespective of age and wealth. Some of the achievements may be at a young age itself whereas some others may be fructifying at ripe old age. This is indeed a higher level of respect.

The fifth and highest level of respect is earned due to knowledge and wisdom (विद्या). Here the word Vidya does no denote the mere bookish knowledge or the number of degrees one earns by studies. It is much more than bookish knowledge and expectation is that it is blended with practical applications. Knowledge and wisdom that is selfish and does not benefit the society is not acceptable here for respect. This is the highest form of respect and a learned and wise man will be respected wherever he goes. The adage विद्वान् सर्वत्र पूज्यते is indeed applicable to such people. 

The five levels of respect and their grading has been beautifully summed up in this ancient verse:
वित्तं बन्धुः वयः कर्म विद्याचैवतु पञ्चमी |
एतानि मान्य स्थानानि गरॆयोयद्यदुत्तरम् ||

Vittam Banhduhu Vayah Karma Vidyachaivatu Panchami,
Etani manya sthaanaani gareeyoyadyaduttaram.

*****

While the grading of the five levels of respect are indeed codified above, present day tendency of giving highest respect to wealth is sometimes disturbing. The pressures and pleasures of modren day life is driving the younger generation primarily towards accumulation of wealth. The opinions on this issue may be divided as well. Whatever may be one's opinion, even today we can see that achievements and wisdom have their own pride of place and always attract respect.

Saturday, September 30, 2017

At the Tip of the Tongue

Which one is the most important organ in a human body? Opinions may differ. Heart could be one answer, as most death certificates suggest that the life went out because heart stopped functioning. The intellectuals may argue that it is the brain. Lungs are indeed important as well. Hands may compete with other organs as most of the work is done with them. Legs are not far behind as they carry all other organs wherever they go. Medicos use the term vital organs for a collection of various organs. One way to answer this question could be to remove one organ after another till a body dies. Even then what we get is a technical answer which does not address the real question. Mere living is not enough. Life has to be meaningful. There should be some achievement to show at the end of one's life. Otherwise it is a beastly life, say many a valued and revered texts.

Some people are very popular with others. Wherever they go, they are respected. Others flock to them and would like to spend some time with them. There are some others who make people run away from them. Some bosses are loved. There are some other bosses who are feared. There are some more bosses who are simply hated. There are administrators who are loved even after they vacate their chairs. There are other administrators who are feared when they are in power but ignored and treated with contempt when they lose their seats. When in trouble and in need of help, people try to find someone to confide and seek advice. These are persons who are liked by all friends and relatives. There are persons who are hated by all friends and relatives. Some succeed in managing and persuading others even in difficult circumstances. What makes these distinctions? Why there is such difference among people around us? This indeed is an interesting question.

The word "Tongue" has as many as 37 meanings in online dictionary, including 'slip of tongue' and 'tongue in cheek'. It is one of the organs in the body that has multiple functions. It is an important member of the digestive system. Life would never be the same if tongue were not to identify taste of the food items. It is one of the five sensory organs and we realise its value when we lose taste temporarily due to sickness. Tongue is also a tool for communication. It's value is known to those who cannot speak. Salesmen know the best use of tongue for achieving their targets. An ancient text "Subhashita Ratna Bhaandaagara", in one of its verses, proclaims that tongue is the most important organ of the human body. Not just the body, but it is the tongue around which the whole life of a person revolves.  

Accumulation of wealth and its uses stand on the tongue. For earning and building wealth, one needs to interact with people. It is not only for earning but also enjoying the fruits of the wealth that is accumulated over time. Tip of the tongue is the place where Mother Lakshmi, Godess of Wealth resides. Just as the sweet and positive words help in developing relationships and earn wealth, bitter and negative words drive away relationships and wealth. The process of earning, developing, retaining and enjoying wealth stands on the tip of the tongue just as driving away the same wealth also is at the tip of the same tongue. A key opens a lock as well as closes it. Entry and exit of wealth are by the use of the same tip of the tongue that acts as a key.

Saint Purandaradasa says that one should be like jaggery (sugar-like) while dealing with relatives and friends (ಬೆಲ್ಲವಾಗಿರಬೇಕು ಬಂಧುಜನರೊಳಗೆ). Dealing with near and dear ones should be with compassion and aid relationship building; not relation breaking. It does not mean that one should be untruthful; truth can be couched in palatable language. Many people pride themselves as being cut-and-dried in dealing with others. It only drives away others. Purpose of life is not to do this; it is for co-existence. Again, it is the tip of the tongue that ensures that friends and relatives stay with you or desert you.

The tongue is the organ that exposes us and often ends up in our being in undesirable situations. There are innumerable stories and anecdotes where uttering wrong things at the wrong time resulted in persons being arrested and imprisoned. Many a criminals got away from their crimes and might never have been caught but for their boasting of their exploits or blurting out the truth in an unguarded moment. There are many examples of innocent people as well going to jail by speaking unwanted or unnecessary things at wrong times and places. The tip of the tongue can free us or imprison us as well.

Life can come to an abrupt end due to the tip of the tongue. We are witnesses to many a road rage cases where due to some words spoken in the heat of the moment, someone is killed. When getting into arguments with others, real issues take a back seat and a wrong word spoken or interpreted wrongly enhances the tension and may even result in death of someone. Tip of the tongue brings in death as well in such situations.

All this is simplified and explained in this verse from Subhashita Ratna Bhaandaagara:


लक्ष्मिर्वसति जिह्वाग्रे जिह्वाग्रे मित्र बान्धवाः|
जिह्वाग्रे बन्धनं प्राप्तं जिह्वाग्रे मरणं ध्रुवम् ||

Lakshmeervasati Jihvaagre Jihvaagre Mitra Bandhavaah|
Jihvaagre bhandhanam praaptam Jihvaagre Maranam Dhruvam||

*****
There is an old story about a fight between the tongue and teeth. Teeth threatened the tongue that they will cut it if it does not behave. Tongue is said to have replied thus: "Don't ever threaten me; one wrong word from me will ensure the end of all of you!".

Teeth are safe as long as tongue is in check. When tongue misbehaves, consequences can be disastrous. Tip of the tongue is indeed the most important organ of the human body!