Your Cow is eating my Crops

The Child was crying continuously and inconsolably in the small village hut.  Mother was busy with the household work.  Her husband, child's father, was busy lazying in a corner of the hut.  He got irritated and shouted at his wife.  Poor fellow, that was the least he could do.

"Why don't you do something about the crying child?"
"What can I do?"
"Do something to stop its crying"
"It is crying because of hunger.  It wants milk"
"Why don't you give some milk?"
"There is no milk in the house. I am telling you since a week to get a cow"
"Okay, I will get a cow from the Haagalahalli village fair on Friday"
"What should the child do till then?"
"Do something now and borrow milk from someone in the village.  Can't you manage even such small things?"
"I am managing that way since one week"
"Okay. Only three days before the village fair.  Manage till then"

The child had stopped crying, may be because it had no more energy to cry.  The wife was busy with other household work and had no time to argue further.  But the husband was free.  He continued.

"The cow will give more milk than we need.  Surplus milk will go waste"
"Do not worry about it.  We can always sell surplus milk"
"Who will buy milk in the village?  Everyone has a Cow or Buffalo"
"We can sell some milk.  I will make curds from any surplus milk"
"What to do with the Curds?"
"We can eat some.  I will make butter and butter milk from the extra curds"
"What will we do with a lot of butter?"
"I will make Ghee from the extra butter.  It can be kept for a few days and can be sold in the village fair"

The husband had a problem in every move and at every stage.  The wife had a solution for all such problems.  He was not the one to be defeated in the argument.  He continued.

"It is fine with all that.  But you should not give any Ghee to your parents"
"Who will do cleaning and bathing of the cow?"
"Of course, you will do. Who else?"
"Who will give fodder to the cow and clean the yard?" 
"You have to do it.  I may be busy with other things"
"Who will make curds, butter and ghee?" 
"You have only suggested all these things.  Naturally you will only do it"
"Then why I should not give some milk or curd or butter or ghee to my parents?"
"I am telling you.  You should not give"
"Why?  I will definitely give them"

The husband was enraged.  He had no valid argument but could not keep quiet also.  He started beating the wife.  Now it was the turn of the wife to cry.  She started crying loudly, unable to bear the pain.  A neighbor heard the crying and came to see to what was going on.

"Why are you beating her?"  

"She says she will give Ghee to her parents despite my telling her not to do so"

"Where is the Ghee?" 

"It will come from the surplus butter" 

"Where is the Butter?" 

"It will come from the surplus curds" 

"Where is the Curd?" 

"It will come from the surplus milk" 

"Where is the Milk?" 

"The cow will give the milk" 

"Where is the Cow?" 

"I am buying it in the Haagalahalli fare on Friday" 

The neighbor understood the perfect logic clearly.  He quietly went out and returned with a big stick and started beating the husband.

"Why are you beating me?"

"Your cow is eating the crops in my lands.  I am put to loss.  It is your cow.  Hence I am beating you"  

"Where is the cow?' 

"You are buying it in the village fair on Friday"

"But that is still three days away"

"But it has already given milk and your wife has made curds, butter and ghee" 

The husband understood the bigger logic now and the matter was resolved.

Many times domestic quarrels are on such non-issues.  Quarrels start even before the issue is born.  It is better to cross the bridge when we reach there.  And start the quarrel, if necessary, after the issues arise.

Tale of two more couples

"The tale of two couples" has received a lot of appreciation and made many friends remember the stories they grew up with.  That reminds me of a story of two more couples. 

This time it is the tale of two city couples. Educated and relatively better off than the poor uneducated village farmers. to live in harmony is somewhat simple for rural folks as their means and needs are both limited.  Being educated and economically better off bring their own complex problems. City people have to find out their own ways and struggle harder to maintain domestic peace.

In a city, there were a couple who were always quarreling on some thing or the other. They were a perfect example of a married pair with perfect misunderstanding.  In a democracy, they say Opposition should have their say and the Treasury Benches should have their way.  Problems arise when either Opposition does not have its say or Treasury benches do not have their way.  Or when both want to have their say and way as well.  These couple were in that category where both wanted their own way in everything.  No wonder, almost even non-issues ended up in quarrel. 

The couple owned a twin house and lived in one part of the building. The other part of the building was rented out and the rent received was one of the sources of income. The tenant couple also quarreled often but came nowhere the standards set by the owner couple. For their own reasons they had to move out and the rented part of the building became vacant.  A good friend of the owners approached them for renting out the house for his sister and brother-in-law who were moving into the city.  Other issues like rent and rental advance were settled to mutual satisfaction and  the owner couple handed over the keys to the friend as they were going out of the city for a few days. They had no contact with the incoming tenants till they returned to the city.

The atmosphere in the tenanted portion was now so calm that the owner couple felt very uncomfortable.  There was not even the occasional quarrel or fight between the tenanted couple.  Owner couple came to the conclusion that the tenant couple were deaf and dumb and hence there was no shouting and fighting.  Even there the owner wife differed from her husband.  If  they are deaf and dumb there may not be any exchange of words.  But there should be at least throwing of utensils and other objects.  They agreed on one thing. things were not normal in the tenant house and the matter required further probing.  One of their rare agreement on any issue.

One day the owner husband saw the tenant husband buying vegetables from the road side vendor and talking to him. He realised that at least the tenant husband is not deaf and dumb. He engaged him in some conversation and probed the matter further. He was keen to know why there was no quarrel in the tenant house.

"Oh, that is a simple matter. Me and my wife have a perfect understanding",  tenant husband said.  "How is it possible?  We seem to have a perfect misunderstanding between us", owner husband asked.  "We have an understanding.  We accept what the other says on alternative issues. As soon as we get up in the morning, I accept the first thing my wife says. Next, my wife accepts whatever I say. This continues the whole day,  Hence we have no quarrels", the tenant husband replied.

Owner husband was not convinced. Such a simple formula would not work, he was sure. "Give me an example of how it works", he asked.

"That is very simple again.  When we get up in the morning, my wife asks me to make coffee. I comply and prepare coffee.  As soon as the coffee is ready I ask her to drink it.  She complies and we both have our morning coffee.  Then she asks me to prepare breakfast. I comply and prepare it. Then it is her turn to agree to what I say. I tell her to eat breakfast and she unhesitatingly compiles with. Then comes my turn to agree to what she says. She asks me to prepare lunch and I comply.  Then I ask her to eat lunch which she does........She asks me to do the laundry............I ask her to get dressed to go out...........and so on. We have no problems at all. We have peace at home and  we are happy".

The owner husband now understood the secret of peace in the tenanted home.

The story I heard ended there. What the owner husband did thereafter was not told and left to the listeners imagination.

There can be two alternatives. Either he told his wife or did not. Or three. He waited till she herself found out. Or four - he made every effort to prevent his wife from finding out. Or more,  if you can make it out.  It is left entirely to your imagination and versatility.